Well folks, it happened. I overdid myself. It was bound to happen eventually, but I just kept thinking I could do it all.
Yesterday morning, I was in charge of the Thanksgiving service at First Congregational WG. First of all, I had kind of been putting it off all week so that I could get other stuff done that was more immediate at the time (ie: senior sermon, liturgy coursework, UCC polity coursework, diapers, feeding, etc.) Second of all, a good friend of ours had a hard week with a difficult break-up, so Evelyn and I spent some time cheering her up (which I was glad to do, of course). So, I ended up having to stay up late Wednesday night and wake up early Thursday morning to get stuff in order for the service.
To make a long story short, I found myself extremely dizzy during the sermon on Thursday morning and was praying during the sermon that I wouldn't pass out. Well, I didn't pass out, but I also led a very scatterbrained service and sermon. And then--get this--I beat myself up about it all afternoon.
It's not okay that I do these things to myself. When I got home, I laid down for 10 minutes and slept for four hours. I also realized I was dehydrated. I only woke up because Evelyn needed to eat. I don't want to be the kind of pastor that works so hard that I become unable to minister to those who need me. And I certainly don't want to become the kind of pastor who doesn't have time for my family and myself. I'm not sure why I hold myself to such high standards. I don't know what I'm trying to prove. And I don't know how to let go of it and just let myself relax and be human.
At 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning, I am supposed to turn in the first chapter of my thesis. By Dec. 1, my thesis proposal is due, along with all of the materials (including several written assessments) for my psych eval later in December. Tuesday, I am leading a service for Liturgy class. Then, I just have some general coursework to do. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do yet, but I know things need to change. I can't let myself get that exhausted again.
Yesterday afternoon, when I woke up from my four hour nap, I decided that whatever I was going to do, I was going to take Thursday and Friday off. I needed to spend time relaxing with my family. I still haven't decided what to do about the thesis chapter, but I'll tell you I'm not waking up at 5 a.m. to write a half-hearted version of it and turning it in at 9:00. My only option at this point is to turn it in late or, as might be more realistic, turn in an outline instead. Generally, Fall semester isn't for writing anyway.
So...let's shake out the negativity. Here's what we did do yesterday and today!
We had NACHO THANKSGIVING! Maic asked if I wanted turkey, but getting and preparing a turkey for one person seemed ridiculous, so we had nachos.
|Salsa con Queso, Shredded Chicken, Corn and Black Beans, |
Refried Beans, and Fresh Veggies.
And homemade oatmeal cream pies!!
Afterwards, we cuddled and watched Elf. I will never stop laughing at that movie, no matter how many times I see it.
Here, by the way, is Evelyn's Thanksgiving dress!
Today we slept in and when we woke up I really wanted to do some shopping. You see, I've gone Black Friday shopping every year of my life. Most of the time, my mom and I have gone with my Aunt Vickie and my sister-in-law, Charis, since we've known her, but the past couple of years I've been in St. Louis, so I've gone with whoever was visiting us at the time. It's very different now, though, as I become increasingly more disgusted with the materialism and competition of Black Friday.
So, we decided to go to Kangaroo Kids and Once Upon a Child, a couple of used clothing stores. Evelyn moved up a clothing size a few days ago. We have been doing our best to only buy used clothes for Evelyn. They're so much cheaper and I think it's more fun. We both like Kangaroo Kids significantly more than Once Upon a Child. The prices are about the same, but Once Upon a Child is a chain and the people are a lot less friendly.
|Evelyn's first Black Friday|
|Every once in a while, Daddy wishes he had a boy, |
so they could wear the same clothes.
Here's what we did get!
|Warmth for winter and some spit-up protectors.|
|Plaid dresses! I don't know why we got five of them. |
Good deals? Super cute?
|T-Rex destroying a Candy Cane. Okay, how could we not get it?|
Then, we went to Chili's for lunch
|We are so out of the technological loop. |
Did you know you can pay your bill at the table now? This is crazy!
|Look at her eyeing that burger...|
And we ended our lovely Black Friday at the World Bird Sanctuary, one of our favorite places in St. Louis. It's the place we both feel the most "at home." It has a very Metroparks kind of atmosphere. Last time we went, I was 8 months pregnant and it was 95 degrees.
|July 17th, 2011|
Today was much more pleasant. It was 60 degrees in St. Louis today, so it was absolutely perfect WBS weather.
|"I think Nacho Thanksgiving is a fantastic idea!"|
Tonight, we're having leftovers and watching movies. We might get out some Christmas decorations, too. Tomorrow morning, I'll give a thought to getting some work done. But, not until then. I promise.