Being Fair.

That time has come again for me to apologize for not writing more often...except...I CAN'T!  

Why?  Because it would go against my New Year's Resolution.  I have just one: To be fair to myself.  Many of you know that I'm very hard on myself-- especially when it comes to my job and parenting.  So, no more, "That wasn't a very good sermon," and no more, "I don't spend enough time with Evelyn," and no more, "I haven't been a very good wife lately," and the list goes on...

This year it will be all about, "I do what I can and trust that God will use me."  

Sound good?  Will you hold me to it?

We had a beautiful Christmas, both here and in Ohio.  The Christmas Eve service at church was well-attended and, for a first run, well-executed!  You can listen to my Christmas Eve sermon here.  I believe God is truly doing something with me here in Ripon.  People are coming to church.  People want to be a part of the community.  People are contacting me for help and support and encouragement.  I only hope it will continue; that the novelty won't wear off; that I won't wear out! 

Christmas at home was wonderful too.  We are blessed by such amazing families.  Maic's siblings are all maturing into such wonderful people and they each lead such interesting lives.  Evelyn was really confused at first because she kept thinking everyone was her daddy!  But no one quite compares! 

At my parents' house, the biggest joy was seeing Evelyn and her cousin Zoey together.  Zoey is 

the best little girl and role model for Evelyn.  She is smarter than you would ever believe a two-and-a-half year old could be, and she is so well-behaved.  Sometimes she will just look at someone with the most sincere face and say, "(insert name here) you're the best!"  One time she went around the whole table, "Gramma, you're the best!...Uncle Maic, you're the best!...Daddy, you're the best!"  But the thing is, you get this sense that she really believes it!  She's such a lover. 

I do often wish we lived closer, because I miss seeing everyone on a regular basis, but it also makes trips like these so sweet and special.  Looking back, I remember I only saw my Grandma and Grandpa Smyres twice a year growing up, but they still meant the world to me, and those trips to see them made my heart explode with excitement.  I think that's how it will be for little E, too. 

Welp, I'm back to work now, and so glad I have a job to return to with anticipation and excitement.  

Home-Work

I feel like I'm about to start that trend where every blog entry begins with an apology for how long it's been since I last wrote a blog entry.  The thing is I'm just SO busy, and now I've jumped into the year 2012 and gotten myself on a Smartphone plan, so I don't get on the computer as often as I used to.  I just spend 2 minutes here and there checking Facebook and E-mails and it's both a blessing and a curse-- constantly connected.  I love being able to share stuff with my family 500+ miles away, but then sometimes I realize I've said something to the Facebook world that I forgot to clue my husband in on!  It's almost like I'm more connected with those who are distant than I am with the one I share a bed with!  

But things are great.  I love the season of Advent.  As a person with absolutely zero patience, this season teaches me to WAIT, to WATCH, and to LISTEN.  In Maic's family tradition, Jesus didn't show up in the manger of the Nativity scenes until Christmas morning.  You know, he's not here yet.  I like that tradition.  It separates Advent from Christmas.  Our Nativity Scene, a gift from Maic's priest, will arrive on Friday night with our good friend Stacy from St. Louis.  She held onto it for the move, since we had to save room, and as a promise that she would come visit our new home before Christmas.  

Source

As I am now a Real-Live Pastor, I've been asking some very hard questions about what I want Christmas to be like for my children.  Where's the balance between secular and religious?  How do I make sure my kids get to participate in some of the same traditions as their peers, without giving into the consumerist nature of the holiday?  And then, as an obnoxious liberal (more at home than in public) how do I keep from ruining the magic of Christmas with my rants about the sweatshops in which so many of our Christmas decorations were made and the ethnicity of the Christ-child and family in Christmas decorations and, for that matter, Santa.  All I want for Christmas is a really well-adjusted Pastor's Kid who doesn't go over to a friend's house for Christmas cookies and say, "I see you already put your Caucasian Jesus in the Manger before the second Sunday in Advent.  Did you know the stable was more likely a cave-like rock structure and we don't actually know how many kings arrived on Epiphany?"  

And then, of course, I have my husband who explained to me yesterday that it made sense for us to put our large Noah ornament on the top of the tree instead of the star because in the same way that the star pointed the way to Baby Jesus, so did Noah.  For the story of Noah and the Ark is a Covenant with God, just as Christ's birth is a New Covenant.

Our poor kids.  

Anyway, I started this blog because I wanted to write about some work we are doing to our home.  It is a rental home, so we don't want to put too much permanent work into it, but we decided that for Christmas instead of buying each other gifts, we would buy furniture and organize our office.  This room has been closed off since we moved in and used exclusively for stacking boxes and throwing piles of laundry. 

Yesterday, we chose this desk, which we should be able to pick up and assemble by the end of the week:

From this Collection

It seems like it will be perfect for what we need it for-- crafting and writing and sewing and storing all of our crap.  We'll also need some curtains and perhaps another bookshelf.  I'm looking forward to it being completed and usable. 

We've also been working on reupholstering a chair.  Neither of us has ever reupholstered before, but I read some books and found some tutorials online, and I think we're doing just fine.  I bought this chair for $7 at a Rummage Sale.  It has great fabric already, but it's wearing out and has a couple of tears, so it's time for a new one.  

The new one will have the fabric on the left.
The fabric on the right will be for the couch,
which I've started but found to be a little out of my league.  

Well, eventually...I dunno if it will be next week or later this week, I will share some photos of our journey to get a Christmas (Advent?) tree.  Evelyn loves the tree.  She says it's "OOOHHH!  Pweeeeeeee!"  Which I've taken to mean "Pretty."  

Merry Christmas!

I had all these awesome ideas for Christmas blog posts-- one for our lovely evening as a little family in a two star hotel outside of Indianapolis; one for Christmas at my parents' house which included meeting little baby Max, the baby of a close childhood friend, and a room full of presents for two beautiful little granddaughters; then one for Christmas at Maic's house on the 26th with all five of his siblings and a ham decorated like a Christmas tree; and finally one for the rest of the week, lunch with a good friend and supporter in my Ordination Process, an open house with friends in which I realized how much being a Mama has changed me, and preaching this Sunday at First Congo after getting home from the trip. 

Well friends, those entries aren't going to happen.  I am pooped, and seem to have gotten a little bit of a flu.  Evelyn has been super demanding lately as she is becoming a real baby and not just a lazy little newborn.  And, I realized, maybe you don't want to read four separate blog entries about Christmas. 

I thought Christmas would be extra special for me this year, being able to experience Mary's pain-followed-by-joy, but it turned out that I had hardly a second to really reflect on what Christmas means outside of being surrounded by family and loved ones.  We missed the Christmas Eve service, as we were travelling, and though we went to the Christmas morning service at my home church, it was overshadowed by how excited I was to see so many people I love at church and spend the afternoon with my family.  

So, in all honesty, I felt that I kind of missed the birth of Christ this year.  That certainly doesn't mean I won't find it somewhere else, hopefully soon.  

I preached on Sunday about the divinity of Christ, relating to the Song of Simeon in Luke 2:22-40.  I felt good about the sermon, even though it existed only in outline form until 12:30 a.m. that morning.  

It looks like I will be doing my Ordination interview in the middle of March.  I'm glad to have a deadline and hope it will give me a little kick to get my paper written.  When I met with Fran, an old friend and one of my biggest cheerleaders, and someone who happens to be on the ordination committee, we talked about what churches are open in the Western Reserve Association (Northeast Ohio).  I'm feeling really excited about a few options.  Of course, I won't know if they'll be interested in me until I get that interview done and my profile put together! 

So, in short form, what were those four separate Christmas entries gonna look like?

We opened presents as a family at a Super 8 Motel.  Evelyn got lots of stuff,
including this vintage Noah's Ark fabric I intend to embroider and use as
a wall hanging someday when she has a nursery. 

Pat and I holding our offspring.  Max is 3 weeks old!
I can't tell you how weird it is for Pat, myself, AND my brother to have
little babies.  We used to play street hockey with dead moles in the driveway.  

The Zo-ster, 19 months old, was less impressed with her baby cousin this time.
She eventually found a photo of Evelyn at Great-Grammas, and decided
she liked the photo better.  It didn't cry.  So she showered it with toys. 

Evelyn and two of her uncles and Daddy, watching the "Sexy Sax Man" on Youtube. 

The Christmas Tree ham.  Eddie dreamed it up.  Rosemary, peppers,
caramel corn, and pineapple.  It was actually quite delicious. 

Evelyn sleeping with Bunster, aka Darla, an invention and Christmas gift
by her Aunt Charis.  How clever is my family???

I mentioned earlier that the Open House we invited our friends to to meet Evelyn and hang out was a very bizarre experience.  I really thought I would never change and would always be able to hang out with my friends just like before.  I always figured I'd have Evelyn on my hip, but she would love my friends and they would love her.  Well, I learned this weekend that 1. Evelyn doesn't like more than 3 or 4 people in one room.  She gets really upset and overwhelmed and 2. That no matter how hard I try, I cannot calm a baby and hang out with my friends the same way as always at the same time.  It felt so weird.  I hope my friends understand.  I love them all so much.  

Finally, the trip home and a little break really recharged me to work on my ordination paper.  I am so excited to move closer to family and really start living my career.  At the same time, I am loving where I am in life-- at First Congo, in my tiny apartment with my husband and baby, and studying at Eden.  Life is good.  God is good.  

What's on my table?

It's finals week.  Half of me is anxious to get all these finals out of the way so I can just say, "I'M FINISHED with the semester!  and I only have ONE SEMESTER LEFT!!"  But the other half of me can't stop thinking about Christmas-- visiting family and introducing Evelyn to a few people for the first time, eating big delicious meals, watching my little girl and her big cousin Zoey play together again, meeting baby Max, a good friend's new baby who was born last weekend, etc.

So I'm stuck here at this cluttered table, with Christmas pulling on one arm and finals pulling on the other.  Oh, and Evelyn, pulling on my hair.  She does that now.

On it is:
1. UCC Book of Worship and Methodist Liturgy book, for working on my Liturgy final-- a full worship order for a wedding, a funeral, and a Sunday morning service.
2. A stack of Christmas cards and photos, which I will never send out again.  What a PAIN!!!  Okay,  next Christmas I might change my mind, but for now I'm motivated by the idea that this will never happen again.
3. A cup of tea.  Earl Grey in a giraffe mug.
4. A wobbly jingly toy.  We call him "Sassy Clown" because he has the word Sassy on his butt.  Realized later that it's a brand name.
5. The laptop hanging out at-- what?-- Facebook.  Of course.  So addicting.  It doesn't help that my August 2011 birth group moved to Facebook a couple months ago.  Now I am constantly on there seeking advice, venting, and sharing photos.  I seriously don't know what I would do without their support.  However, I'd probably have A LOT more of my finals done and my ordination paper would be more or less finished.  And my dishes would be clean.
6. Some yarn and my miscellaneous craft box.  I already mentioned that I've given up on handmade Christmas in its entirety, but there are still a few handmade things in the mix.  Two more to finish up.
7.  The rest of the stuff is always there.

Evelyn is sleeping now.  She is getting so big.  She laughs now and really loves to hear herself talk.  The days of letting her lie on her playmat while I work are over, however.  She is easily bored and wants to be read to, talked to, or carried around.  I try to read my articles for school or the papers I'm writing aloud to her as a compromise, but the second I turn to the computer, she squeals.  Smart girl.

Well, something's a bit off about blogging while complaining about my finals not being finished.  I'm going to go take advantage of the rest of this nap.

1000 Pageviews!

I have officially reached 1000 pageviews here at "Become Pastor Mom."  How fun!  Thanks for your support, everyone.  I love sharing my story.  

So, guess what??  I turned in my thesis proposal!!  This is a huge deal for me.  In a minute or two, I'll create another page up there ^ next to the tabs about Maic, Evelyn, and I about my thesis so that I don't have to constantly repeat it and so that if you have absolutely no interest, you can choose not to click on the tab.  

I'll find out in a week or two whether or not it's accepted and then I can continue writing.  

This weekend, we had a visit from Nana and Aunt Clare, Maic's mom and sister.  It was a pretty laid back visit.  

Nana is working on this amazing quilt replica of the Goodnight Moon room for Evelyn.  She's using mostly recycled materials and most of it is hand-appliqued.  The paintings on the wall are hand-painted in fabric paint.  

So that made it even more exciting that when we were at the Way of Lights at Our Lady of the Snows Shrine, Nana and Evelyn discovered a Goodnight Moon tree.  

And after seeing the trees, Evelyn found herself hungry (famished, even) and that's when she made this face. We're framing this photo to bring out every Christmas. 

Also this weekend, we had our first official "First Fridays" mom's group gathering with other moms who have taken the birth class we took.  It happens the first Friday of every month.  There were about 6 or 7 other moms (and a dad!) with babies from 2 weeks to 1 year.  We had a BLAST.  I took some photos, but don't want to put photos of other people's babies on my blog without asking, so I'll just stick with, "It was stinking adorable." 

Last night we went to the annual Yankee Swap for First Congregational.  Evelyn was super good and enjoyed getting passed around from "Grandma to Grandma."  They take it very seriously and ask for homemade gifts to be swapped.  I crocheted some mug cozies or, as they were referred to at the swap, "Oh, it's a mug with a sweater!"  There were blueberry gooey butter cakes, fudge, and a handmade scarf.  But, what I wanted was this: 

It's a wooden monkey toy.  It flips over the stick and does a headstand.

Maic wouldn't stop making fun of me, but okay--whatever--I like it.  He got some homemade peppermint bark.  

Other than all of that, the Second Edition of Homemade Christmas is in full swing.  We're knitting, felting, drilling, supply-searching, etc.  It's going pretty okay.  Some people are impossible, however.  I can't post any pictures til after Christmas or else I will ruin the surprises!

Nacho Ordinary Thanksgiving and a Relaxing Black Friday

Well folks, it happened.  I overdid myself.  It was bound to happen eventually, but I just kept thinking I could do it all.  

Yesterday morning, I was in charge of the Thanksgiving service at First Congregational WG.  First of all, I had kind of been putting it off all week so that I could get other stuff done that was more immediate at the time (ie: senior sermon, liturgy coursework, UCC polity coursework, diapers, feeding, etc.)  Second of all, a good friend of ours had a hard week with a difficult break-up, so Evelyn and I spent some time cheering her up (which I was glad to do, of course).  So, I ended up having to stay up late Wednesday night and wake up early Thursday morning to get stuff in order for the service.  

To make a long story short, I found myself extremely dizzy during the sermon on Thursday morning and was praying during the sermon that I wouldn't pass out.  Well, I didn't pass out, but I also led a very scatterbrained service and sermon.  And then--get this--I beat myself up about it all afternoon. 

It's not okay that I do these things to myself.  When I got home, I laid down for 10 minutes and slept for four hours.  I also realized I was dehydrated.  I only woke up because Evelyn needed to eat.   I don't want to be the kind of pastor that works so hard that I become unable to minister to those who need me.  And I certainly don't want to become the kind of pastor who doesn't have time for my family and myself.  I'm not sure why I hold myself to such high standards.  I don't know what I'm trying to prove.  And I don't know how to let go of it and just let myself relax and be human.  

At 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning, I am supposed to turn in the first chapter of my thesis.  By Dec. 1, my thesis proposal is due, along with all of the materials (including several written assessments) for my psych eval later in December.  Tuesday, I am leading a service for Liturgy class.  Then, I just have some general coursework to do.  I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do yet, but I know things need to change.  I can't let myself get that exhausted again.  

Yesterday afternoon, when I woke up from my four hour nap, I decided that whatever I was going to do, I was going to take Thursday and Friday off.  I needed to spend time relaxing with my family.  I still haven't decided what to do about the thesis chapter, but I'll tell you I'm not waking up at 5 a.m. to write a half-hearted version of it and turning it in at 9:00.  My only option at this point is to turn it in late or, as might be more realistic, turn in an outline instead.  Generally, Fall semester isn't for writing anyway. 

So...let's shake out the negativity.  Here's what we did do yesterday and today!

We had NACHO THANKSGIVING!  Maic asked if I wanted turkey, but getting and preparing a turkey for one person seemed ridiculous, so we had nachos. 

Salsa con Queso, Shredded Chicken, Corn and Black Beans,
Refried Beans, and Fresh Veggies.  

And homemade oatmeal cream pies!!  

Afterwards, we cuddled and watched Elf.  I will never stop laughing at that movie, no matter how many times I see it.  

Here, by the way, is Evelyn's Thanksgiving dress!  

Today we slept in and when we woke up I really wanted to do some shopping.  You see, I've gone Black Friday shopping every year of my life.  Most of the time, my mom and I have gone with my Aunt Vickie and my sister-in-law, Charis, since we've known her, but the past couple of years I've been in St. Louis, so I've gone with whoever was visiting us at the time.  It's very different now, though, as I become increasingly more disgusted with the materialism and competition of Black Friday.  

So, we decided to go to Kangaroo Kids and Once Upon a Child, a couple of used clothing stores.  Evelyn moved up a clothing size a few days ago.  We have been doing our best to only buy used clothes for Evelyn.  They're so much cheaper and I think it's more fun.  We both like Kangaroo Kids significantly more than Once Upon a Child.  The prices are about the same, but Once Upon a Child is a chain and the people are a lot less friendly.  

Evelyn's first Black Friday 

Every once in a while, Daddy wishes he had a boy,
so they could wear the same clothes.  

Here's what we did get!  

Warmth for winter and some spit-up protectors.  

Plaid dresses!  I don't know why we got five of them.
Good deals?  Super cute? 

T-Rex destroying a Candy Cane.  Okay, how could we not get it?  

Then, we went to Chili's for lunch

We are so out of the technological loop.
Did you know you can pay your bill at the table now?  This is crazy!

Look at her eyeing that burger... 

And we ended our lovely Black Friday at the World Bird Sanctuary, one of our favorite places in St. Louis.  It's the place we both feel the most "at home."  It has a very Metroparks kind of atmosphere.  Last time we went, I was 8 months pregnant and it was 95 degrees.  

July 17th, 2011

Today was much more pleasant.  It was 60 degrees in St. Louis today, so it was absolutely perfect WBS weather.  

"I think Nacho Thanksgiving is a fantastic idea!" 

Tonight, we're having leftovers and watching movies.  We might get out some Christmas decorations, too.  Tomorrow morning, I'll give a thought to getting some work done.  But, not until then.  I promise.