4 Months; 1 Year

Okay, friends, now on to something that you will probably find more interesting.

Evelyn was four months old yesterday.  Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of when we found out we were having a baby.

(Disclaimer: The auto-focus on our camera is broken because I left it on the arm of the chair and it fell off.  You'd think I'd learn that things shouldn't go on the arm of this chair, after the amount of times I've put my waterbottle on it and spilled it all over the ground, but I haven't learned yet.  As a result, the photos are not the best quality.  I'm learning to use manual focus but it's hard.  I think our warranty will cover the repair, but not thinking about it until after Christmas.)

Four months is around the right time to start using the exersaucer, so we did!  It takes up like 90% of our apartment, but I love it and she loves it.  I love it because I can put her in it, set it outside the bathroom door, and take a shower.  It's great.

We had a playdate today with a friend from my August birth group and her baby Collin.  Collin is 3 days younger than Evelyn.  

Collin with his hand on her leg, getting fresh.  

Mama, look a friend!  

We had a great time!  I love Mama Friends! 

Then, this evening Maic took us on a Christmas date!  We each had a budget to spend on Christmas gifts for Evelyn.  I spent mine on a bunch of toys, etc. (I'll show you in a post-Christmas blog post)  He decided to spend his to take us on a horse carriage ride through a Christmas-light filled park.  It was so much fun.  He is such a sweetheart.

We went out to dinner first at a Mongolian Grill.  

Evelyn had these soft mittens on,
and she couldn't stop rubbing them on her face.  

Can you see the horse?

Evelyn and Daddy in the
One Horse Open Sleigh

Now that that's out of the way, I want to tell you a little bit about what the past year has been like for us.  A year ago today, we found out we were going to have a baby.

December 22, 2010

Maic and I were going to be leaving to go home for Christmas after the 11:00 Christmas Eve service at Salem UMC (where I was working at the time.)  It would be a 10 hour drive, so we would arrive on Christmas morning.  I thought it would be cute if I made us Christmas pajama pants to wear home.  On the evening of December 22, I finished the pants for myself and went to try them on.  WAYYYY too small.  So I started yelling about how I can't do anything right, and threw the pants and the scissors across the room.  Maic came out of the kitchen and told me that it wasn't a big deal.  I began to list all of the reasons it was a big deal, ie: I can't do anything right, ever; I just want to be good at sewing and I made a stupid mistake; I don't know anyone else who has ever done something this stupid.

Maic asked me if I was about to get my period, which just made me even more mad.  Why would he think I was being hormonal???  That's just ridiculous.  I yelled, "NO I'M JUST UPSET OKAY???"  And sat down to work on the pants some more.  But his question got me thinking.  Was I about to get my period?  No, that was last week.  No, actually, it wasn't.

I decided to take a test, and there it was.  A faint little pink line.  The best Christmas present I've ever received.

New Year's Eve last year, not sipping any champagne!

Can you believe how much can happen in a year?  For a year, I have been creating life out of my own body.   All 12 pounds, 5 ounces of Evelyn (found that out yesterday) have been created out of what I have given her.  I am blessed that I have been able to exclusively breastfeed, and I plan to continue to do so for a while.    It feels so right that I have given so much of myself so that she could be.  I thought I might be sad that my body has changed so much or that my schedule and my diet is so dependent on her, but I'm not.  I am just proud.

Now, don't hear me wrong, I have a lot of friends who have had trouble breastfeeding or have needed supplements, etc. to sustain their lives and not an inch of me thinks that I am better than them.  They have each made the right decisions for the health of their babies, and that's what being a good mother is about.  I do hope, however, that they will celebrate with me that I have been so blessed.

In this year, everything about my body has changed.  My hips are wider, my ribs are broader, my skin and hair are different, and I won't touch the more personal changes.  Parts of me wish I could have myself back-- a full night without having to wake up to nurse (I thought I might get one when I was in Columubus.  Boy was I wrong. Woke up in pain each night and needed to pump), clothes that don't have to be accessible in the case of a hungry baby, pants that fit me from one day to the next.  But then part of me knows that I don't have that anymore, and instead I have 12 lbs, 5 oz. of the most beautiful human I've ever seen.

About 35 weeks pregnant

And, most importantly, when I see how beautiful she is and how much I love her, and remember that she and I are created by the very same God, I realize that if she is beautiful, I am beautiful too.