I'm probably overreacting. I usually do. However, I just feel like the past couple weeks I have had more setbacks than I'm used to. This whole ordination process and parenting thing has gone so smoothly for me so far that sometimes I forget that it can't always be that way.
The past few weeks have included Evelyn's ear infection-turned-bronchial infection, our laptop breaking, and plane tickets home that cost us a whole lot more than expected. Additionally, since Christmas Evelyn has given up on sleeping through the night, so I'm up at 3:00, 6:00 and 8:00.
Last night, my gums surrounding the tooth that has been hurting me for the past year or so swelled up. I'm nearly certain that it's abscessed, which stinks because I don't have insurance. Then, I woke up this morning to an e-mail that says that I'm a credit and a half short for graduation, which means I need to take an additional class this semester.
All of this is so small when I look at the big picture. But, readers, I'd be lying if I said it's no big deal. I'm. So. Tired.
Being a mom is hard. When I list the things I did all day, I think, "Why am I so tired? I hardly did anything." But it's amazing how much energy a baby takes. Then, while I was taking my J-Term class, I only had her by myself from 1:30 to 4:30 each day, so I kept thinking, "Why am I so tired?" But it's amazing how much energy a four-hour a day class takes. When you put them both together, and never really get a break (by the way, how do single moms do it and how on earth did my Mother-in-Law do laundry for eight?), it leads to an overreaction or two. It makes me cry when I hear that I have to take another class.
I want to be an optimistic person. I always try to be positive, but what I'm discovering about myself is that what I really am is an honest person. I can see the blessings in my obstacles. Evelyn is healthy and happy; our laptop was old anyway; we get to fly home instead of driving and I am delighted to see my family; I get the chance to learn more by taking another class; I'm delighted to get this &#*% tooth out of my mouth. But I'm also willing to admit and accept that what I'm doing is hard. Right? Is that okay?
Thank you for hearing my little vent. I always struggle a little bit to figure out what is appropriate to put on this blog. But, ultimately, I want the people who have a say in the success of my career to know that I'm human.
Gosh, if I don't post pictures of Evelyn, that would make two posts in a row. We can't have that. Here are some photos from Evelyn's play-date today at church. A few of us decided to get together in the nursery for an hour or two. We had a blast!
|Lydia takes very good care of Evelyn. Sweet Henry likes to practice |
his Godzilla skills around her, though.
|She dressed Super-Chic|
|And stopped by the office to hang out with one of |
her favorite adoptive Grandmas, Dianne.